Another good ole dual post, brought to you by...well, me.
My mother is obsessed with DOM, a series of capital letters that shall henceforth mean "Dorky Old Movies". Correction: "Dorky Olde Movies". I don't care of that weird little "e" never even existed at the end of that word, it just feels good to write it that way.
Anyway, the dumber the movie, the better, in my mother's case. This has been proven many times.
First, lets look at a particular rhyme from "Girl Rush", a more recent dumb movie but still old. The title alone makes me wince, but take a gander at the rhyme:
I have an island
In the pacific
And I think it's
Just terrific
Oh, boy. Ouch. Then theres the woman who gets caught in a giant glass coke bottle that was used in a show within the movie, and breaks the glass into about five pieces. By knocking it over. And walks away unscathed. One of the main characters is even called "Taffy". Ouch. What a name.
Then, there is the classic narrator voice. The deep, serious, but somehow unintentionally funny baritone, droning on recounting events in a hilariously serious manner... I can't seem to get audio for this, but the beginnings of both "Inside the Mafia" (it's on netflix), another dorky classic, and "Stan Freberg Modestly Presents: The United States of America, the Early Years", a comedy album I love, include one such narrator.
Last let us examine...the intro for an animated superhero TV show called Bird Man.
Not exactly right for this, but the very end cracks me up (the one I saw held "Bird" for maybe three times as long).
So maybe that wasn't so funny, but to me it is occasionally.
Now, on to part two.
About four years ago, my family were considering building a house of our own instead of renting. I was full of absurd ideas for it. Here are a few:
My room was going to, in my imagination, have a huge balcony that led to a water slide from the second story into a pool.
There was, I hoped, going to be a rooftop garden.
I wanted finger print locks instead of normal locks, just because they seemed cool.
I wanted a moat, and a bridge.
But by far my favorite was my secret, classic bookshelf door passage.
I wanted to have a bookshelf in my room that was really a door with a hidden finger print lock. This door would lead to a tiny closet sized room with only a blue, motion sensing light, and a ladder up to a trapdoor. The trapdoor would lead to a cozy, heated room, full of books, beanbags, and other nice, cozy things. It would be equipped with a variety of speaking tubes for various rooms, and would have two other trapdoors inside. One would lead behind a one way mirror, one way window type thing in my room. Another would lead back down to a kitchen cabinet. as an added bonus, I wanted a big skylight and a window overlooking the yard.
Of course, this was silly. But in retrospect, it still seems pretty awesome. If I ever get enough money, I am so doing that for real! Just kidding...well, maybe...! LOL!
-Shadow
My mother is obsessed with DOM, a series of capital letters that shall henceforth mean "Dorky Old Movies". Correction: "Dorky Olde Movies". I don't care of that weird little "e" never even existed at the end of that word, it just feels good to write it that way.
Anyway, the dumber the movie, the better, in my mother's case. This has been proven many times.
First, lets look at a particular rhyme from "Girl Rush", a more recent dumb movie but still old. The title alone makes me wince, but take a gander at the rhyme:
I have an island
In the pacific
And I think it's
Just terrific
Oh, boy. Ouch. Then theres the woman who gets caught in a giant glass coke bottle that was used in a show within the movie, and breaks the glass into about five pieces. By knocking it over. And walks away unscathed. One of the main characters is even called "Taffy". Ouch. What a name.
Then, there is the classic narrator voice. The deep, serious, but somehow unintentionally funny baritone, droning on recounting events in a hilariously serious manner... I can't seem to get audio for this, but the beginnings of both "Inside the Mafia" (it's on netflix), another dorky classic, and "Stan Freberg Modestly Presents: The United States of America, the Early Years", a comedy album I love, include one such narrator.
Last let us examine...the intro for an animated superhero TV show called Bird Man.
Not exactly right for this, but the very end cracks me up (the one I saw held "Bird" for maybe three times as long).
So maybe that wasn't so funny, but to me it is occasionally.
Now, on to part two.
About four years ago, my family were considering building a house of our own instead of renting. I was full of absurd ideas for it. Here are a few:
My room was going to, in my imagination, have a huge balcony that led to a water slide from the second story into a pool.
There was, I hoped, going to be a rooftop garden.
I wanted finger print locks instead of normal locks, just because they seemed cool.
I wanted a moat, and a bridge.
But by far my favorite was my secret, classic bookshelf door passage.
I wanted to have a bookshelf in my room that was really a door with a hidden finger print lock. This door would lead to a tiny closet sized room with only a blue, motion sensing light, and a ladder up to a trapdoor. The trapdoor would lead to a cozy, heated room, full of books, beanbags, and other nice, cozy things. It would be equipped with a variety of speaking tubes for various rooms, and would have two other trapdoors inside. One would lead behind a one way mirror, one way window type thing in my room. Another would lead back down to a kitchen cabinet. as an added bonus, I wanted a big skylight and a window overlooking the yard.
Of course, this was silly. But in retrospect, it still seems pretty awesome. If I ever get enough money, I am so doing that for real! Just kidding...well, maybe...! LOL!
-Shadow
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